This Decade Blog Hop triggered a plethora of memories, stirred numerous emotions and touched the long forgotten realms of my life.
Come join me for a glimpse of my life down the decade.
I used to begin every New Year with some new hocus pocus. One year I decided that if I got up early on New Year morning then I would automatically wake up early throughout the year. Did I?
I also had the habit of writing numerous resolutions in my diary and then would religiously break them one by one. My making resolution vs breaking resolution graph was rather consistent for years.
So, how did I begin my previous decade?
I began it with “forgiveness” and “gratitude” and with it I deviated from my consistent record; for it remains unbroken till date.
After years of being miserable, followed by intense introspection I focused on rebuilding the broken parts of my life. I decided to let go of all the pent up anger and mend my fractured relationship with my family. My first step was to connect with a few relatives using Orkut,followed by phone calls. Though it still took me a few more years to actually meet my family(after a gap of nearly 20 years) and let go of all the negativity. It helped me to move on in life without the guilt that I did not try to mend relationships.
THE STRUGGLE ENDS WHEN GRATITUDE BEGINS….
And what a wonderful healing effect it had on my mind and body!!! I felt as if some burden had been removed from my soul. I developed a sense of gratitude even for hardships and life rewarded me enormously.
Everyone around me knows me as a strong and brave person. But believe me I was not born strong; circumstances made me so. I have traveled alone, lived alone and managed my life on my own for more than a decade now. I am sometimes asked whether I have any hatred for people around me who have not fulfilled their responsibilities towards me. My answer is a big “NO”. And do you know why? Because I always tend to focus on the ray of hope that penetrates the darkness.
Why brood over the negative aspect? Look at the positive side. Their neglect made me strong, let me dream, let me carve a life of my own. It made me what I am today. So why should I crib?
I belong to a generation which transitioned from no phone to landlines to mobile phones and social media. Due to the latter I slowly came in touch with many school friends in the past decade. But life has changed me so much that it is now getting difficult for them to understand me. I find myself at loss of words to explain to them about everything that happened in my life after I completed schooling. I am no longer what they remember me as.
SOMETIMES, HAPPY MEMORIES HURT THE MOST…
Their simple questions about my welfare trigger such painful memories that I end up replying in monosyllables. Due to this I constantly get blocked and unblocked by them. There is a painful time of nearly 22 years that I have erased from my mind but the changes it has brought in my personality are here to stay. I will try to improve this negative trait in the coming decade.
My professional life has always been full of people who have cared for me, helped me develop professionally and personally. Don’t think that I did not face hurdles or encounter negative people but I was blessed with such wonderful friends,that the hurdles and negativity fizzled in the bright light of positivity. I have friends around me believing in my potential more than I do, and this keeps me in high spirits on sad days. This decade I reignited my passion of writing, reading and public speaking. My storytelling sessions over the past decade have been widely appreciated but this activity is solely restricted to school workshops.I hope to take it up more seriously, maybe launch a channel or conduct workshops in the coming decade. Fingers crossed.
SOMETIMES MEMORIES SNEAK OUT OF MY EYES AND ROLL DOWN MY CHEEKS….
This decade I lost a friend and it was one of the triggering factors that started bringing a change in my perspective towards life. Until then like most people I believed that professional achievement was the one and only index of my success.It would be just work, work and work! I hardly read books, pursued my hobbies or socialized. I used to get annoyed when he would plan an outing for our group. I would go only if I was totally free. His death made me explore the various other aspects of my life. He has also left me with a lingering regret of not meeting him enough. Maybe I would have sensed his inner turmoil…Maybe….
In 2019, the last year of the decade two significant events happened in my life.
FIRST: After being a closet writer for years I started sharing my thoughts with the world. First through my blog which I started in May and then through various online platforms.
SECOND: I was diagnosed with Thyroid Carcinoma in June.It was a wake up call for me to take care of myself. So, are you taking care of your health? https://pashmeenachowdhary.home.blog/2019/11/30/are-you-taking-care-of-your-body/ (Do read it).
Call it karmic intervention but writing was very therapeutic for me during my medical crisis.
In 2011 as part of a campaign I wrote some determinations towards 2030.I am happy to share that I have laid the foundation stones for all of them and they are in various stages of completion.
Fate whispers to the warrior, “You cannot withstand the storm.”
The warrior whispers back, “I am the storm.”
Some events of the past decade broke me, some made me strong and some changed me completely. But at the end of this decade my life glowed even brighter.
After all, STARS CAN’T SHINE WITHOUT DARKNESS…
CHEERS TO THE PAST AND CHEERS TO THE FUTURE..
“This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organized by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee”